We finally got a gym membership. I am super excited to go this morning. My muscles are aching to be used and I need to break a good sweat!  Is it possible my body is yearning to be used the way it should be? My stomach is tired of bad food and I am CRAVING veggies and fruits. 

If you listen close enough, your body tells you everything. 

Almased... anyone??

So I got this stuff called Almased at GNC.  I was wondering if anyone has tried this stuff? I have used it for one week already... substituting my breakfast and lunch with a shake and then eating dinner with the family.  I have to say that so far it is making me feel SO much better. I feel like my blood sugar is balanced... my digestion (or lack there of) is better. The bloating in my stomach is gone and I just feel awesome. I think I have lost a couple of pounds on it.. but to be honest I am stepping away from the scale right now and just focusing on feeling better.

I think I will continue with it for a couple more weeks and see how it goes.... of course pay day isn't until Friday, so this week I will have to go without... but I think I found something I can really stick with! Its a start anyway.

So here I am in the beautiful state of Colorado. I am surrounded by mountains, rivers and lakes. The weather is amazing and I have no reason at all to stay indoors... at least not until the snow comes!! Even then I have found a gym here that has an indoor running track, indoor pool and some awesome workout classes. I have NO reason, whatsoever, to NOT hit my goal this time. Well, there is ONE thing holding me back. ME!!

 I've been my number one enemy since the start.... I've kicked my own butt more then once... and for some reason I keep getting back up to fight myself again and again and again.  (You can't say I'm a quitter!)

I'm not going to start with "Day 1"  or "Beginning Weight"  because this is by no means the first round... or even the 50th. This is just the next chapter....  in a very long book!

Today was not perfect, by any means, but it was another good day. Tomorrow, I'm hoping, will be better.

When life smacks you down... take a breather and get back up!!

I know I have been gone for some time now. I feel as if my life has been on a roller coaster for the last two years. To sum it up for you.. We moved across the country... TWICE. My husband had a great job but we felt it was too far from our families. So a year later (almost to the day) we moved back. We stayed with family for 6 months before my husband got a job... that has moved us yet again. Only this time only a couple of states away! For the first time in a LONG time I am finally feeling settled enough to start focusing on me again. That last thought has taken me a while to get comfortable with... being a Mom you never want to put yourself first. You are always last on the list. But what happens to them if something happens to you? Then who will take care of them. Sometimes you have to be selfish in order to care for those you love the most. So, its time to be selfish. These last few months... ok, years?? ... I have stayed about the same weight. 181 lbs. That is a 8 lbs gain from my lowest back before we moved the first time. I am ok with that. The bad part is that I am no longer a fit 181. I am a flabby, can't run a block 181. Believe me, there is a difference. But I am in the mind set to get it all back and more. My final goal is 163 and fit. This may take some time to get back in the grove of things... but hopefully I still have some readers out there to keep me on track and motivated!?!

Keep an eye on the turtle...

I don't always have time to write a blog post... but if your wondering how I'm doing, keep an eye on the turtle on top! Remember, I started 3 days ago at 188 lbs!!

Day 1 with a scale...

I DROPPED 3 lbs!!!

This morning I weighed in at 185. *PHEW* It feel good to be going the other direction!!

I drank so much water yesterday that last night I had to get up and go pee twice. :/

On the bad side... I have now caught the fever/sore throat/headache that has been going around our house. No workout for me today... but sticking 100% to my diet and water!!

The scale has returned...

I realized the other day that I could not do this healthy lifestyle thing without my scale. It is literally the key to my success. I know, most people think it dreadful that I weigh myself every day... and for some people it could be a downfall.. but here is how it works for me.

In the past 6 weeks I have had my entire home in boxes. I have moved across the country and have been a guest in someone elses house. I live out of a suitcase full of clothes that are no longer comfortable... ok, they are too damn tight to even wear... .and I have no clue where I am at as far as my weight.

This has led to me eating whatever food is offered. ( I dont want to be rude) Fast food is , well, faster for me lately. Not having my own kitchen to cook in is debilitating.

Today I pulled up my fat pants and squeezed into them. I went out and did 30 minutes on my bike, had a glass or 3 of water and a banana. I then loaded the kids in the car and went to the nearest Wally World and got the cheapest scale they had. ($7.99) I drove all the way home, unloaded the kids, went to the bathroom and stripped.

I am officially 188 lbs. That is a GAIN of 15 lbs in 6 weeks. YUCK!!!!

So, how will the scale help me you wonder? Every morning I weigh myself. If I am up a pound I tend to workout harder, drink more water and watch what I eat. If the scale is down a pound, well, I do the exact same thing... but am usually smiling the rest of the day.

Not knowing my number has given me the chance to completely ignore the fact that I am in a spiraling suction of toilet water down to the bottom of this terrible journey I started years ago. I can't let it keep going.

I have my secret weapon now... lets see what I can do with it!!

3 days in a row ?!?!?!?!

After talking to my mom about my frustrations of being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no way to run she sent me home with her stationary bike. I have to admit that I hate stationary bikes. For one, they take up too much room... second, they make my butt sore and not in a good way... third, BORING!!!

BUT... in the last three mornings I have woken up, gone out to the shed (where I put the bike which is pretty cool cuz it has windows and I can watch the kids playing while I'm in there) and biked for 30 minutes!

It kills me... but I have to remember that I need to get acclimated. I went from living at sea level to living back on the mountain at 6,000 ft above sea level... and, well, that makes a HUGE difference when your trying to breathe and workout at the same time. I figure another week or two of doing 30 minutes in the morning and I should be feeling good enough to push it to 45 min... and then eventually an hour.

To get a little boost I also signed up for the Iron Girl again in Phoenix, Az!! It is a 10K in December (which is perfect running weather in Arizona!) To make it even better, my best friend said she would start training and do it with me!!

I dont know how much I weigh right now because my nemesis (the scale) is still packed away in a box in storage... but judging by my clothes... I need to lose about 15 lbs to get back to where I was last year when I was running at my best. Its doable!

Frustration is still there... but every morning that I sweat it out makes me feel a little bit better about the whole thing. :)

Frustrated :(

This has been the journey of a million false starts. I am really good at getting myself all hyped up to get healthy again.... but when it comes down to it, my follow through is horrific.

I dont know how much I've gained in the last month, but I know that all my clothes are tight. ALL MY CLOTHES :(

So today I woke up knowing without a doubt that I needed to get my butt back in gear. I have been laying dormant for too long.

Two days ago I tried running around the horse arena (because I am living in the middle of nowhere and that is the closest thing I have to a track here) and couldn't even do it for 5 minutes without gasping for air. Then I cam inside and thought I would focus on push up and sit ups for awhile. HA!!! That was pathetic.

Was my running a half marathon a dream??? Did I really go to a boxing gym and spend hours doing cardio on the bag and in the ring?? WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT GIRL???????

Today is a new day and dammit if I'm going to let it go by me without sweating for an hour and eating right. I don't know who this new girl is... but she is uncomfortable in her clothes, sickly and lazy... and I don't like her. I want the old me back... TODAY!

"SQUIRREL !!! "

Have you ever seen the Pixar movie UP? Well, if you haven't, there is a dog in this movie that often gets sidetracked by the thought of seeing a squirrel.





This is what my life has felt like the past month or two. I have lost focus more then once and feel like a failure. Fortunatley for me we are allowed 'do-overs!'.... .and I am SO calling do-overs!!

I am in a place right now where I am very unsettled. I can't say its a bad thing though. It has been quite the adventure and I know that God is with us and guiding us in the direction He wants us to go. Family life has changed a lot in the last year... my Hubby has grown to be quite the Godly man and I am so proud of him. In our quest to find 'home'... I have lost focus on my healthy lifestyle. Not that I'm sorry I did. I have enjoyed some delicious cobblers, hamburgers and cookies... but now its time to say goodbye to full fat... and hello to fat free.

I know that one day in my future I will have to learn ... ummm, what's that word??... oh ya... MODERATION. But apparently that day is not today. I can still pig out with the best of them. I'm not going to wallow around in self pitty. I'm going to jump back up and get back into motion. I dont have my scale (its packed in a box along with our entire life) so I am going by clothes... that are super tight right now.... and my own feelings.  This may be my biggest challenge, as I am/was a slave to the scale.

I am not living in my own home... so food is a little crazy.... and I'm not on my own computer, so don't expect daily posts (although I will try!). I have to make do with what God has given me right now... which is more then enough to succeed. My goal... to feel good about myself in (and out!) of my clothes by the 4th of July. One month is more then enough time to drop the unwanted bloat (fat) that I have put on and to get back on track.

Until next time....