Picture Perfect Motivation.... Me

Someone once told me the best motivation to get healthy was 'you' (as in me). I think I rolled my eyes at them and said 'ya,ya'. Of course it was me... 'love yourself' and all that stuff.

But it wasn't until yesterday that I understood what they meant. At least, what I think they meant.

I stood in the mirror yesterday looking at myself. For once I could remember what I looked like 50 lbs ago. The belly that hung over... the round face... the big thighs.... the body that was sick all the time and could hardly do anything without gasping for air.

And then I saw me. A flat(ter) tummy... a thinner face... strong legs (that ran a half marathon!)... a healthier me that could do anything I wanted it to. That's when I realized what was going to be my motivation for the next 3 months.

In my head I hold a picture of me. The one of me at 225 lbs... sitting in a chair with my baby on my lap. Wheezing at the thought of having to get up and chase my toddler around the house. Wearing pajamas because they were the only thing comfortable.

On the other side of that picture is me.... 3 months from now at 150 lbs... standing tall with confidence. Wearing a sexy pair of jeans and a shirt that shows off my lean/strong arms. Ready to run at a seconds notice!

Those two pictures are my motivation. Me... my own motivation. Motivation to keep eating healthy, to keep moving and to keep believing that I can do it. I will do it.

Plan your day and you will succeed!

I failed miserable with the 'no carbs' thing yesterday. I had it in my head that since I had already eaten bread for breakfast I might as well finish the day off and start new today. Which I did! I had a filling breakfast of boiled eggs and tea. Now, if I can just stay focused today and get one good day of eating behind me!

Usually by this time of day I am just barely getting myself going. But today I woke up at 5 a.m.... an hour earlier then normal. I didn't get out of bed, but instead tried something new. I laid in bed and enjoyed the peace and quiet. I closed my eyes and pictured what I wanted to get done today and in what order I would do them. I think this only lasted for about 15 minutes before I actually fell back to sleep. I woke up at 7:30 to two hungry girls tapping on my forehead. (you gotta love kids) I got up, made breakfast for everyone... drank my tea... did our school time (my 4 and 6 year old can read!!!)... changed into workout clothes and did my workout with Jillian... and then sat down with a big glass of water to write in my blog. All this happened in the first 2.5 hours I've been awake. I am so ahead of schedule... and I started an hour and a half late! Not to mention I actually got in a great workout in the morning... which hasn't been easy to do lately!

The last thing on my list of to-do chores is clean my refrigerator from top to bottom... inside and out! There is a layer of lemonade/milk/pink juice coating the bottom of it that I have been to scared to tackle the last month.... time to get the gloves out!

Monday is weigh in and I am hoping for a nice number like 175. I better keep focused all weekend....

Its time to re-evaluate....

Its been three days of hanging out at 177.8. Not cool. So I thought it best to take a minute this morning and re-evaluate what I've been eating this week. What was the one thing that stuck out at EVERY meal??? BREAD!

Yikes! I've had bread at every meal. That is a huge no-no for me. The funny thing is, if I had not actually sat down and thought about it, I don't think I would have caught on. I even had it for breakfast this morning..... tsk,tsk,tsk.

So, obviously, the rest of the day will be carb free!!!

Also.... water, water, water!!!!

And... since it is my abs day I thought I would give YOU a little excersize challenge too! Check it out!!

White as snow....

Sometimes there are people in this world that remind me how great God is... and how great the world could be if everyone acted like them.

Yesterday I called every dentist in town. No one would take a hurting child unless we had a credit card. I even offered cash on the spot... they said no. The last dentist we called was mine. We already owe him more then $2000 for all the work he did on my teeth. I hated to ask him... but what did he say? "Of course, bring her in an hour!"

She was very brave. Not a single tear... but man were her eyes wide open the whole time. He had to work on 6 teeth on her left side alone. (He didn't even touch the right side) He capped the molar that was hurting her and filled some cavities. He also gave me a prescription for fluoride. Turns out that there is very little fluoride in our drinking water out here in the boonies. He said that fluoride can prevent up to 70% of cavities!! NOW they tell me. So I spent the money to get 6 months worth of fluoride.

She got home and fell asleep on my bed. She drooled all over Daddy's pillow, but that's ok. At least now she can sleep!

I am holding steady at 177.... I think I need to drink more water and flush my system a little better. I'm leaving you with a picture of our local lake marina store... snow measured 5-6 feet there.... 10 feet in drifts. Yep, its been that kind of winter. :P

When It Rains... It Pours!

This weeks sermon at church was about giving it all to God. When your stressed out... give it to God. (1Peter 5:6-7) "Be humble under God's powerful hand so he will lift you up when the right time comes. Give all your worries to him, because he cares about you."

Right now that is exactly what I need to be doing... but am having a hard time of it. The minute things start to look better for us, we're hit again. This time our daughter is in pain with a terrible toothache. Do we have insurance? No. I was looking into going today to try and get us on ACCCHS, which is the government funded insurance for low income people, but found out that because there are so many people on it now, they are not taking any more applications. Don't get me started on our government..... grrrrrrr.

So, in another hour or two I will be calling the dentists in the area and begging for a payment plan. She needs to be seen today. Poor thing has been drugged up all weekend. I hate seeing my girls in pain. :(

In other news (I hate writing a gloomy post!) I am feeling really good. I have kept my diet clean and have stayed away from all things dairy! Do you know that there is milk in things like chips and crackers?? OH yeah... anything 'cheese' related! So with all of that out of my system, I am feeling so much better. Its amazing what your body will tell you... and if you care to listen, you can really change it!! A friend of mine wrote me this:

Wild Oats put out a pamphlet in 1998 that stated. and I quote "What happens if I ignore my allergy symptoms? If you don't take steps to face your food allergies now, you may end up with a chronic or degenerative disease. The constant stress on your immune system can weaken it to the point that your body begins to attack and destroy its own tissues. Scientists estimate that in over 75% of allergic reactions, the cells in tissues under attack are actually destroyed. Lupus and rheumatoid arthritis are examples of two auto-immune diseases that may start as simple allergies. Good reason to change your diet now rather than later."

It totally helped change my way of thinking. Is my love of all things dairy really worth my life? Nope!

Holding steady at 177... see you tomorrow! (oh, and if not... we may have lost our internet! LOL)

Saturday

15 (165 lbs) - 2.4 (177.6 lbs) = 12.6 lbs to go!

(If you really want to keep track you can watch the ticker on the top of the page. I change it every morning to what my scale says. Yes, I am back to weighing myself every day... right now, I need the encouragement. )

Sushi, how I love thee.....

I am not always a fan of sushi. There have been one too many incidents with Saki when I was younger that involved raw fish being revisited... if you get my meaning. Last night I got invited out by an old friend (her treat!) to a fantastic sushi bar up in the mountains. (I know, 500 miles from an ocean and in the snow covered mountains eating raw fish is a strange combination!) But Hubby took the kids for me and I got to get all dressed up!

I ate like a pig... or maybe a seagull! My plate was constantly being filled with amazing flavors of mahi, tuna, salmon, seaweed and ginger (oh, the ginger!)! I loved every bite! By the time we left I was stuffed to the gills. It was heaven. (I'm taking Hubby on a date there when we have the money)

We went out to the bar afterwards to help celebrate her other friends birthday. They all drank, and drank, and drank. I was a good girl and had my water with lemon... but I have to say some of there happy colored drinks looked and smelled tempting! We played pool, sang karaoke and had a blast. But I was home and in bed by 11:15. LOL (I'm such a party pooper these days)

Woke up this morning thinking I was going to see a gain on the scale... but saw a loss!! Whoop!

15(165 lbs) -1.6 (178.4 lbs) =13.4 lbs to go!

I have a ton of laundry to do today. Gotta love Fridays!!

Plan Your Day!

Back when I was truly succeeding at dropping weight I would wake up in the morning and plan out every bite of food I would eat for the day. That way when I started feeling like a snack, instead of searching my kitchen and grabbing everything I could find, I would look in my notebook and see what I was allowed to eat. If there was nothing left on that paper.. .then I would not eat anything.... or if I had already had my snack for the day, then I would just have to drink some water and wait for the next meal.

Looking back, it really worked. So, I am doing that again. Today I weighed in at 179.6... already a good start to my personal challenge!(PC)

15-0.4= 14.6 lbs to go!

I have a very dirty kids room that needs attending to today... that should burn some calories! LOL

De Ja Vu.... again.

(Mommy's little helper. She loves to wash dishes, bless her heart. )

Its time for some motivation. I took the calender out and flipped through it. I noted the usual dates... birthdays (my 32nd this year), holidays, anniversaries.... and had a very strong moment of de ja vu. I did this last year. All in hopes of reaching my goal by Christmas Day. Did I reach it... heck no. Just like I missed it the last 3 years. Granted, I HAVE lost weight every year... so I am doing something right. I' m just not doing it as fast as I would like to.



I have a friend who just had her third baby. She is now dieting to get back to her pre-pregnancy weight. This month alone she lost 15 lbs. There is no question that in another 3 months she will reach her perfect weight, just like she did after having the last 2 babies. Why is it so easy for some people? and so hard for others?



*sigh* What is that saying.... If its easy to do, its not worth doing. OR If it was easy everyone would do it.



So, my challenge to myself is to lose 15 lbs by my birthday on April 25th. That would put me at 165 lbs. I would be extremely happy with that! That gives me 9 weeks, 5 days to lose it in. Who wants to join me? A friendly race, perhaps?



I'm off to eat my oatmeal and drink my tea. :)



(oooh, and my very best bloggy friend Tammy said I was more then a number on a scale. As much as I know that, I really need to remind myself a little more often. )

I've Been a Terrible Blogger....

It has been 2 weeks since my last entry. I know, I should be taken out back and shot. Its been a roller coaster of emotions and it just hasn't been in me to write about it. Sorry.

I did great with my food for awhile... getting back down to 178.8... until yesterday when Hubby made me my favorite chocolate cherry cake and chocolate covered strawberries and pineapple! I love that man to death, but he is the worst when it comes to keeping me on my diet. LOL

I haven't weighed myself in a week... fearing another gain. Today I am back on track. I had my last bite of the chocolate cake this morning when I reached in the fridge with a spoon! Now I am ready to focus on losing weight again.

My main focus today is drinking water. I feel soooo sluggish today and I know it is because I have so much crap just hanging around in my body.

The weather is warming up... and I need to get out and run again. I just don't have the *umph* to get up at 5 a.m. to do it. Maybe in two weeks, when I have flushed all the crap out of my system I will feel up to it again! Lets hope!

So, I am thinking about writing some entries on living healthy on a budget. Because of certain circumstances right now we are on a VERY tight budget. I am finding myself buying a lot of processed food, only because it will last longer and I may not get a chance to go grocery shopping every week like I am used to. I am not buying very many fresh fruit or veggies for the same reason. I did get a huge bag of frozen blueberries and also I stuck a lovely bunch of bananas in the freezer too! This will keep them perfect for my blended smoothies in the morning... yes, they used to be protein shakes, but protein powder isn't available now either... so they are just lovely, healthy smoothies that fill me up and do the trick!

Well, lets just hope, for now, that I just continue blogging... no matter what I write about! LOL

I leave you with some pics of my knitting skills. I made these for my girls for Valentines Day!

Day 2 .... raisins are bad.

I had a bunch of amazing comments on yesterdays post. I have to say that you all are the reason I get through the hard times. Having friends that know exactly what I'm feeling and what I'm going through... well, there is nothing better. (((HUGS)))



As for yesterday... I had a pretty good day. Slipped once with a cookie (but only ate one!) and again with a box of raisins. I know, I know, raisins aren't bad for YOU... but for me they are killer. About the same time I found out I was lactose intolerant I found out I am allergic to raisins. I get terrible stomach pains after eating just ONE... so you can imagine me after a box of them. Yep, it was a rough night.



I woke up this morning feeling fine... but with an "Ah ha" moment. My body needs to be taken care of. It can't be good for it to be going up and down in weight like this... and then for me to eat things that cause me to have severe heart burn, stomach cramping and gas.... well.... obviously those are ways my body is telling me STOP!!!!!!



So, today I am going to take care of my poor stomach. I will give it food that will nourish and heal it. Its time to take care of me.



Day 2... here I come!

Its a slippery slope.... and I fell hard.

I had a break down. A complete melt down of my 'healthy living'. My one week break after the half marathon turned into a two week splurge into everything forbidden.... and it was bliss.. for the first day. The second day I started feeling blahhhh. The third day I wasn't sleeping well. The fourth day I was getting stomach pains at night..... and now two weeks later I am suffering from depression, insomnia , water retention, weight gain and all around feeling crappy.... and I just can't stop.

I don't know why I fell so hard. I've tried to pick my head for answers to all my questions... but I don't get much of an answer. The fact is, I suck.... and in order to lose my suckiness I need to get my butt out of this quicksand and back on firm ground. Just because life is not going as smoothly as it should be does not give me a free pass to fall back into bad habits.

Step 1 : Acknowledge that I am a food addict. Done
Step 2: Acknowledge that I screwed up big time and that its time to get back on track. Done
Step 3: Get moving.....

I won't lie, this will be the second time this week I've tried to get back on track. The last time ended with heartburn. I'll consider that my test run. I know what went wrong and am prepared to fix it. Now lets just focus on today.