W: 195 (+2 lbs)
Workout: 1 hour on the treadmill
Food: lets be honest, how about I just promise not to eat the kitchen sink!
My mood today is fowl. I have officially gained 10 lbs. That is like a stab in the back.. that I somehow managed to do myself. All I can say is that I don't know what I am doing. Seriously. I know that food is my problem..... hello OA! (how anonymous am I, LOL) ... but maybe I am being delusional about how much I am eating.?? Is that possible?? I am not a fan of writing what I eat down... but I think I need to start. I have to figure something out, because I do NOT want to see 200 lbs again.
I have that sick feeling in my stomach. You know, the one you get when you are scared. It feels like I am not in control of this anymore and I don't like that.
On the positive side... I ran a 5K yesterday in less time then I have done before! Even that doesn't make me happy though. Today's workout will be 1 hour walking on the treadmill. Its time I get down to business and start from scratch.
A life well-lived requires that I continue to change, grow and clean up the wreckage of my past–and my present. If I do that, my life is better than I could have ever imagined.
6 comments:
I'm not trying to be all, "You did this and I did that", but I did. I was at one point 119lbs. It was a long drawn out way to get there, but I swore I would never go back up. I was at 123 in a healthy manner, marriage falling apart got me to 119, that last 4lbs were just stress loss. I quickly quit the time needed to maintain 119 or to be healhty and I was right back up to 137.8 at my highest. I was devastated. It took me 3 years to get back to that weight, but I'm now working my way back to 125-123. That is where I'm most comfortable. I didn't just post all that as a moment to preach at you, but to let you know someone else has struggled and may still be struggling with the exact same thing.
You will get back to losing. It could be so many factors from water retention, too much food, the wrong food, so many things. Don't give up on yourself. Baby steps to treating yourself properly and this will turn itself around.
You're incredibly strong. Look how far you've come. Have faith in yourself and in the process. The food tracking can be a bit of a bother, but it really shows you were you're going with food intake.
Big big hugs!
First, don't be so hard on yourself.
And I think for a week, you should write down what you're eating. Not only so you can see how much, but, sometimes the choice we make, could be sabotaging us.
From what I read, I know you'll figure this out, and get right back on track. I can tell, this is very important for you not to.
And yes, I remember that pit in stomach that scared me. I still get it at times. I look at it as my wake up call.
Hang in there!
Sis, you know yourself best. You know what your weakness is - food journaling, so tackle that head on and start journaling. Don't even worry about how much your eating right now - just write it all down. Write down the time you eat, and what you're feeling at the time. I know you can do this - you've overcome so much, and this is just a little pebble in the road of life. I belive in you!
My Tigerlily :(
Im sorry you are having such a tough time lately and I'll definitely say a prayer for you.
I hope that you realize you are already beautiful...you may not see it because you dont fit the definition of your own idea of beauty but just to let you know...you dont look like the number on the scale says.
Youll get there. :)
I agree with the food journaling idea...even if for a few days, calories can get away from you!
awesome job on the run missy! A speedy 5k indeed!!
I absolutely think journaling is a GOOOOOD idea. It really doesn't take that much time, and it is AMAZING how easy it is to forget a little bit of this and a little bit of that.
I've been reading your blog for a long time. You are one of the fittest bloggers out there. Just refer to the photos on your blog if you forget. You're beautiful. I have no doubt that you can lose those 10 lbs. I bet in the end you will just have to make a tiny tweak to your meal plan.
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