I NEEDED A NEW BEGINNING

PLEASE KEEP READING AT:

http://www.coloradosunshine1.blogspot.com


THANK YOU.

The Book....

Although the Bible is usually my morning reading... I have replaced it, just for now, with The Rise Above . This book is helping me with my obsession with food... and showing me that where I should be focusing all this energy is on God. Why do I think of what I am going to eat next more then I do about what I can do for God??

It has opened my eyes to just how bad I really am. Right now I am trying to focus on only eating when my body tells me it is hungry... WATCH OUT!!!... this can be tricky. (at least for me) My head is constantly telling me I should eat something. Even when my stomach is saying NO MORE!!!

Of course I am still reading the Bible. This book offers fantastic references in the bible about food... and how we should see it.

Forgive my lack of posts, but I am without a computer right now. Hopefully by Christmas I will have a computer at home and can post a little more often and in a little more detail. (Its hard to put a lot of thought into my posts when I am being timed at the library!!)

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas.... enjoy the holiday... remember the reason for the season... and put a little less thought into your food and more on your mood!!!

A new look at it all....

I am back up to 190 lbs and it shook me up a little bit. Not knowing what to do about it I turned to God. God , in return, put a book in front of me. It was on the sale rack at the library and I got it for a whole $1. At first I was weary about getting yet ANOTHER diet book. I took it home, stuck it on my shelf and forgot about it. I ate another 2500 calories last night. This morning I picked up the book, sat in a hot bath and read the first 3 chapters.

My heart was filled with hope and understanding. Guilt and consciousness. I am beginning to see that I can't change my eating habits without changing my heart first. I am a Christian.... I was baptised at 24 years old. But, as my pastor talked about last Sunday (coincidence??), you can grieve the Holy Spirit. You can lose that spark in you that yearns for God. I lost that spark years ago. Maybe in my quest for that perfect body??

I am focusing on a different life now. Maybe in my journey to putting that fire back in me I will also win my battle with my food addiction. God can do miracles... right!?!

I will keep you updated... and maybe even give you the name of the book!!!

Don't Worry...

I'm still here. Just suffering from computer problems. I have to use the Library computer until we can afford a new computer now... its ok really, except for the fact that I can't post on my blog as much as I would like to. My house is staying amazingly clean. :)

I am sticking to my Almased and going to the gym 3-4 days a week. I have not stepped on the scale nor have I tried on my goal jeans yet. I think I will do both sometime in December. Until then I am trying my hardest to stay focused on the goal and keep making the healthy choices.

Blech........

Today I took the kids to the Trunk or Treat in downtown. It was freezing cold, but my kids toughed it out and made it the entire two block circle. Luckily we arrived early, because by the time we left the place was PACKED. It was wonderful to see the whole town show up... and everyone was in a good mood... except me. Being around that many people gives me anxiety. Half way through and I found myself walking faster and just trying to get it done as fast as possible. Because the girls were cold, I dont think they minded all that much.

We got home and I ate enough candy to turn an elephant diabetic. So, now that I have a headache, a stomach ache and just all around mad with myself... I am making my goals for the week.

1) Stick to my Almased shakes (2 meal replacements a day)

2) At least 4 good workouts at the gym this week

3) WATER WATER WATER

4) Put my goal jeans on the top of my other jeans so that I have to look at them everyday. 

As for the rest of today. No more sugar for me. I am going to make a nice light, healthy dinner and drink some water.

Halloween Candy

Every year I have the same dilemma. To eat the candy or not eat the candy. I have decided that its ok to eat the candy. ONE piece will not break me... however, the challenge will be not to eat the bag. You know I can't eat just one.  :(  AND... why did I have to buy chocolate???? I should have stuck to my rule of buying the candy I hate. *sigh*

On the bright side... I found an awesome dessert recipe yesterday and decided to make it for a dinner party we are going to tonight! Go HERE for the recipe! I will let you know how it goes over...

(pic thanks to Prior Fat Girl and her post on it! )

Yesterday was my day off from the gym. I also ran out of my Almased and didn't have time to buy more... so I feel a little lost this morning. No shake?  I may have to hit the GNC the minute the lights turn on. Until then, I do have some yummy apples in the fridge!

I'm not sure what I'm doing today... It may turn out to be another rest day, or it could turn into an awesome gym day. Right now, I just feel like crawling into my baby's bed and snuggling. There is nothing better then a 6 year olds morning breath and her footy pajamas wrapped around you!

My 'Goal' Jeans...

WARNING: Unflattering pics ahead....

Who doesn't want a pair of rhinestone jeans???

The gap in the front is a big one... but I have faith I can get these babies buttoned in 90 days!!

Ugh... suck in the gut next time!!

Size 13... IN JUNIORS.... I'm not sure this is possible, since I am no longer a Jr., but I'm gonna give it my all!!

Day 1 has commenced..... by January 24th I will be wearing these babies!!

I've been bitten by the bug...

Since getting our gym membership I have workout everyday!! Thanks to a great kids care area I can drop the girls off for an hour and go do my thing. I have done free weight, running, stairs, bike, swimming laps and more!  I love this place. The best part is that it get me excited to go. The girls are happy for the hour they are in there... so it gives me an hour to focus on myself!

I am not getting on the scale. I am tired of seeing the numbers not move... so instead I will be going through my box of 'skinny jeans' and finding the perfect goal jeans!! I will post a pic as soon as I find them. I think I will even throw in a challenge. 90 days to get into them!!!

Monday

I really hate it when people moan and groan that it is Monday. I think those people are looking at it in the wrong way. Monday, to me, is like a fresh start. Another chance to start the week off right!  Sure, my Mondays consist of getting the kids ready for school, doing school, cleaning up the house after a weekend of disasters and doing a million chores..... but after all that is said and done.... when Monday is over and I have accomplished all I needed to, I feel good. I feel like another week is off on the right foot.

This morning I had my Almased shake and a big glass of water. My arms are in a lot of pain after our little gym day on Saturday. Its a good pain though!  Sunday we did a lot of hiking (where I took the picture above!) so my legs are feeling good too!  All in all, its gonna be a good Monday.... and a good week!

Claire.... I'm praying for you!! I know you will rock it. A little trick I do for my Almased shake to make it taste better is add cinnamon!! Its not the best tasting drink, but it fills you up and it makes you feel good. Good luck and keep me updated!

We finally got a gym membership. I am super excited to go this morning. My muscles are aching to be used and I need to break a good sweat!  Is it possible my body is yearning to be used the way it should be? My stomach is tired of bad food and I am CRAVING veggies and fruits. 

If you listen close enough, your body tells you everything. 

Almased... anyone??

So I got this stuff called Almased at GNC.  I was wondering if anyone has tried this stuff? I have used it for one week already... substituting my breakfast and lunch with a shake and then eating dinner with the family.  I have to say that so far it is making me feel SO much better. I feel like my blood sugar is balanced... my digestion (or lack there of) is better. The bloating in my stomach is gone and I just feel awesome. I think I have lost a couple of pounds on it.. but to be honest I am stepping away from the scale right now and just focusing on feeling better.

I think I will continue with it for a couple more weeks and see how it goes.... of course pay day isn't until Friday, so this week I will have to go without... but I think I found something I can really stick with! Its a start anyway.

So here I am in the beautiful state of Colorado. I am surrounded by mountains, rivers and lakes. The weather is amazing and I have no reason at all to stay indoors... at least not until the snow comes!! Even then I have found a gym here that has an indoor running track, indoor pool and some awesome workout classes. I have NO reason, whatsoever, to NOT hit my goal this time. Well, there is ONE thing holding me back. ME!!

 I've been my number one enemy since the start.... I've kicked my own butt more then once... and for some reason I keep getting back up to fight myself again and again and again.  (You can't say I'm a quitter!)

I'm not going to start with "Day 1"  or "Beginning Weight"  because this is by no means the first round... or even the 50th. This is just the next chapter....  in a very long book!

Today was not perfect, by any means, but it was another good day. Tomorrow, I'm hoping, will be better.

When life smacks you down... take a breather and get back up!!

I know I have been gone for some time now. I feel as if my life has been on a roller coaster for the last two years. To sum it up for you.. We moved across the country... TWICE. My husband had a great job but we felt it was too far from our families. So a year later (almost to the day) we moved back. We stayed with family for 6 months before my husband got a job... that has moved us yet again. Only this time only a couple of states away! For the first time in a LONG time I am finally feeling settled enough to start focusing on me again. That last thought has taken me a while to get comfortable with... being a Mom you never want to put yourself first. You are always last on the list. But what happens to them if something happens to you? Then who will take care of them. Sometimes you have to be selfish in order to care for those you love the most. So, its time to be selfish. These last few months... ok, years?? ... I have stayed about the same weight. 181 lbs. That is a 8 lbs gain from my lowest back before we moved the first time. I am ok with that. The bad part is that I am no longer a fit 181. I am a flabby, can't run a block 181. Believe me, there is a difference. But I am in the mind set to get it all back and more. My final goal is 163 and fit. This may take some time to get back in the grove of things... but hopefully I still have some readers out there to keep me on track and motivated!?!

Keep an eye on the turtle...

I don't always have time to write a blog post... but if your wondering how I'm doing, keep an eye on the turtle on top! Remember, I started 3 days ago at 188 lbs!!

Day 1 with a scale...

I DROPPED 3 lbs!!!

This morning I weighed in at 185. *PHEW* It feel good to be going the other direction!!

I drank so much water yesterday that last night I had to get up and go pee twice. :/

On the bad side... I have now caught the fever/sore throat/headache that has been going around our house. No workout for me today... but sticking 100% to my diet and water!!

The scale has returned...

I realized the other day that I could not do this healthy lifestyle thing without my scale. It is literally the key to my success. I know, most people think it dreadful that I weigh myself every day... and for some people it could be a downfall.. but here is how it works for me.

In the past 6 weeks I have had my entire home in boxes. I have moved across the country and have been a guest in someone elses house. I live out of a suitcase full of clothes that are no longer comfortable... ok, they are too damn tight to even wear... .and I have no clue where I am at as far as my weight.

This has led to me eating whatever food is offered. ( I dont want to be rude) Fast food is , well, faster for me lately. Not having my own kitchen to cook in is debilitating.

Today I pulled up my fat pants and squeezed into them. I went out and did 30 minutes on my bike, had a glass or 3 of water and a banana. I then loaded the kids in the car and went to the nearest Wally World and got the cheapest scale they had. ($7.99) I drove all the way home, unloaded the kids, went to the bathroom and stripped.

I am officially 188 lbs. That is a GAIN of 15 lbs in 6 weeks. YUCK!!!!

So, how will the scale help me you wonder? Every morning I weigh myself. If I am up a pound I tend to workout harder, drink more water and watch what I eat. If the scale is down a pound, well, I do the exact same thing... but am usually smiling the rest of the day.

Not knowing my number has given me the chance to completely ignore the fact that I am in a spiraling suction of toilet water down to the bottom of this terrible journey I started years ago. I can't let it keep going.

I have my secret weapon now... lets see what I can do with it!!

3 days in a row ?!?!?!?!

After talking to my mom about my frustrations of being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no way to run she sent me home with her stationary bike. I have to admit that I hate stationary bikes. For one, they take up too much room... second, they make my butt sore and not in a good way... third, BORING!!!

BUT... in the last three mornings I have woken up, gone out to the shed (where I put the bike which is pretty cool cuz it has windows and I can watch the kids playing while I'm in there) and biked for 30 minutes!

It kills me... but I have to remember that I need to get acclimated. I went from living at sea level to living back on the mountain at 6,000 ft above sea level... and, well, that makes a HUGE difference when your trying to breathe and workout at the same time. I figure another week or two of doing 30 minutes in the morning and I should be feeling good enough to push it to 45 min... and then eventually an hour.

To get a little boost I also signed up for the Iron Girl again in Phoenix, Az!! It is a 10K in December (which is perfect running weather in Arizona!) To make it even better, my best friend said she would start training and do it with me!!

I dont know how much I weigh right now because my nemesis (the scale) is still packed away in a box in storage... but judging by my clothes... I need to lose about 15 lbs to get back to where I was last year when I was running at my best. Its doable!

Frustration is still there... but every morning that I sweat it out makes me feel a little bit better about the whole thing. :)

Frustrated :(

This has been the journey of a million false starts. I am really good at getting myself all hyped up to get healthy again.... but when it comes down to it, my follow through is horrific.

I dont know how much I've gained in the last month, but I know that all my clothes are tight. ALL MY CLOTHES :(

So today I woke up knowing without a doubt that I needed to get my butt back in gear. I have been laying dormant for too long.

Two days ago I tried running around the horse arena (because I am living in the middle of nowhere and that is the closest thing I have to a track here) and couldn't even do it for 5 minutes without gasping for air. Then I cam inside and thought I would focus on push up and sit ups for awhile. HA!!! That was pathetic.

Was my running a half marathon a dream??? Did I really go to a boxing gym and spend hours doing cardio on the bag and in the ring?? WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT GIRL???????

Today is a new day and dammit if I'm going to let it go by me without sweating for an hour and eating right. I don't know who this new girl is... but she is uncomfortable in her clothes, sickly and lazy... and I don't like her. I want the old me back... TODAY!

"SQUIRREL !!! "

Have you ever seen the Pixar movie UP? Well, if you haven't, there is a dog in this movie that often gets sidetracked by the thought of seeing a squirrel.





This is what my life has felt like the past month or two. I have lost focus more then once and feel like a failure. Fortunatley for me we are allowed 'do-overs!'.... .and I am SO calling do-overs!!

I am in a place right now where I am very unsettled. I can't say its a bad thing though. It has been quite the adventure and I know that God is with us and guiding us in the direction He wants us to go. Family life has changed a lot in the last year... my Hubby has grown to be quite the Godly man and I am so proud of him. In our quest to find 'home'... I have lost focus on my healthy lifestyle. Not that I'm sorry I did. I have enjoyed some delicious cobblers, hamburgers and cookies... but now its time to say goodbye to full fat... and hello to fat free.

I know that one day in my future I will have to learn ... ummm, what's that word??... oh ya... MODERATION. But apparently that day is not today. I can still pig out with the best of them. I'm not going to wallow around in self pitty. I'm going to jump back up and get back into motion. I dont have my scale (its packed in a box along with our entire life) so I am going by clothes... that are super tight right now.... and my own feelings.  This may be my biggest challenge, as I am/was a slave to the scale.

I am not living in my own home... so food is a little crazy.... and I'm not on my own computer, so don't expect daily posts (although I will try!). I have to make do with what God has given me right now... which is more then enough to succeed. My goal... to feel good about myself in (and out!) of my clothes by the 4th of July. One month is more then enough time to drop the unwanted bloat (fat) that I have put on and to get back on track.

Until next time....

P90X PAIN....

In an attempt to get back on track I have started working out with my Hubby. Our pain of choice is P90X. Yesterday was chest and back ...a.k.a... a whole lotta push ups and chin ups. I have yet to be able to lift my own body weight for a chin up so I cheated and used a chair to help me. To my total amazement I didn't cheat enough and today my back is killing me!!!! 

Today is Plyometrics...a.k.a... jumping jacks for hours. 

Making Goals...

Its always a bad idea for me to make goals... especially when they involve my weight. So this time around I am making some physical goals. I did my best at training when I had a race to run... so I am looking up some races back in AZ that I can start training for when we get back. While I was doing that... Hubby jumped in and picked one for both of us to do....

The Spartan Death Race

Oh yes, you read it right... "The Spartan Death Race is designed to present you with the totally unexpected, and the totally insane! Traditional physical challenges will make giving birth look like a walk in the park. This endurance race is comprised of mud runs, obstacle racing, trail racing, physical challenges and mental challenges all in a +48 hour adventure race. 90% of you will not complete this endurance race. Please only consider this adventure style race if you have lived a full life to date." - taken from the website


I don't know if my husband is trying to kill me... or get me seriously psyched up!!!! This is totally my idea of something to train for. A REAL challenge. Not that running a 10K for me isn't a real challenge... but this is more then just running.  


So, Hubby and I have agreed to sign up for next years race. I have less then a year to get physically and mentally fit for this race. To be honest with you.... I'm SO excited.  


I need a game plan on how to get fit enough for it... and I am off to find that plan right now!!!

Zumba

Ok, so since we are moving I did not renew my membership at the boxing gym..... and boy am I gonna miss that place. Awesome workouts! So now that I am back I need to start sweating again. I can't run right now because

 1) the neighborhood is not that safe anymore

2) the only time I can run is when Hubby is home and that is either 4 a.m. before he leaves or 6 p.m. when he gets home. Either way, bad timing.

So I looked at Insanity again... NO Way!! I am way out of shape right now and the extra 9 lbs I put on has made a huge difference in my activity level. Gotta start out slow again. Then I figured it all out. ZUMBA! I have a Zumba Wii game that is awesome. You start out with 20 minute workouts and go up to 45 min. Its perfect!

I've been doing it all week and felt good enough to do 45 minutes today!! I was sweating like mad.

With my exercise done for the day, all I need to focus on is food and water. One day at a time!

I'm Baaaa-aaack..... (cue Jaws music!)

How foolish I was to think I could do this without my blog... or you guys! I failed miserably. I am at 182 lbs... a whopping 9 lbs more then what I was one year ago today. That was a rude awakening. So today I woke up, did my second class of Zumba and am now sitting with a huge glass of water in front of my old friend... my blog.

There is a lot going on in my life right now. We are packing the house up, again, and moving back west. North Carolina was a wonderful change... but not one we wanted to keep. There is so much more we miss back in Arizona... so we are heading back in two weeks. Dont ask where we will be or what we will do... because that is all up in the air. I'm praying that God will carry us thru again.

I do have some great plans though. The first one is calling my running buddy Roni the day we get there and training with her again. I'm thinking another half marathon!! I am also going to go back to school to get either my nursing degree or my paramedicine. Either way... I'm gonna learn me some things!

First things first... Im tracking my food starting today...

Missing In Action...

Alright... we all have our days when we just don't care what we eat, whether we've worked out or not, if our clothes fit too tight or if we've had our 10 glasses of water....I've had about 2 months of that. Yikes.

I'm slowly trying to get back into the swing of things... but until then... check out my other blog I've started to keep me busy until I can get back to this one~

www.haveownerwilltravel.blogspot.com

The hope is to encourage people to adopt older dogs.... <3

Weigh In

Last week: 185.2
This week: 181.2

-4 Pounds!!!!


It feels great. Now off to work and starting the week all over again. 

"I shall shape my future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me. Or I can be lost in the maze. My choice. My responsibility. Win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny." - Og Mandino

We're not in Kansas anymore...

Sometimes, in the battle of addiction, all you want is that magical pill that will cure it all. Or that bump on the head that will rattle things around up there and make you 'right'.... like everyone else. Its a terrible feeling, thinking that your struggling with something that will never be fixed. That you can never get away from. It can throw you into a never ending spiral of depression.

Joining Weight Watchers has helped me to see things a little more clearly. For one thing, I now know that I am not alone in my addiction. Not that I ever thought I was the only one dealing with a food addiction... but I never met anyone face to face that struggled with it. Second, I have finally been given a way to see things in a new light. Kind of like a pair of beer goggles... only lets call these... point shades. Not only do they make me look hot, sexy and skinny but looking through them allows me to see numbers instead of food. Seriously, its a whole new world.

Instead of seeing food.. I see the points they are worth. Somehow, that has triggered my OCD brain into finally seeing food the way I was always meant to. I've been eating clean and healthy for 3 days... without feeling starved, neglected, or craving anything!

In my daily reading of blogs I came across some great quotes over at Bitchcakes......  

~ "You can never have enough of what you don't really need."

~ " FEEL the feelings. Don't FEED them."

~" If hunger is not the problem, then food is not the solution." 

Update #1

Ok, so its been about 3 weeks (??) since I started (and then ended) Insanity. I know, I know... but let me catch you up on whats been going on with me!

Starting Insanity with my Hubby was fantastic. For one thing, it got us both excited to get back in shape again. The last couple of months we have both been stuck on the couch wishing we looked better, but not wanting to do anything about it. With both of us starting Insanity... it gave us that boost we both needed.

A week later I was starting to see a trend. Because I was still doing my 3 days a week of boxing, on top of the Insanity workouts... I was eating ALOT! I think in my mind I saw my heavy workouts as a free pass to eat as much as I wanted. BIG mistake.

So, I decided to let my Hubby continue on alone in his insanity... as I focused on my boxing class and my food.

Realizing that I could not do this by myself... and seeing some fantastic results from friends and bloggies... I signed up with Weight Watchers. I have to say that it is much easier then I thought it would be. I sit down every morning and right out my menu for the day... making sure to keep within my point range. With free veggies and fruit (meaning you can eat as many as you want for 0 points) it is easy to stay satisfied all day!!

My weigh in for WW on are Mondays... so I will hold off and give you an update every Monday night!

As for the Insanity... I loved it. It was a workout that pushed you to your max. I will start it again after I am sure that I have my food under control. Hubby is doing amazing on it and has actually gained 5 lbs and is bulking up and looking... well.... MEEEOW!!!!

Here We Go!

Like I promised... before pics, weight and measurements. Oy!

WT: 183.4
Chest: 42
Waist: 36
Hips: 41.5
Neck: 13.25
Arms: 14
Legs: 25.5


So far I am on day 3 of the Insanity. The workouts are crazy... but nothing that isn't possible. Its just a matter of stepping outside your (my) comfort zone and getting the job done. I am still sticking with my bag class... so that is an extra workout 3 days a week. 57 more days... can't wait to see the difference!

Life is .... INSANE!!!!

On my quest to becoming sane I have done the insane and , you guessed it, I signed up for Insanity.

Two months of craziness... but I think it is exactly what I need right now to keep motivated. I'll let you know when I get it (should be in 5-7 days) and will do a full weigh in, picture and measurements post so we can all see the difference!

As for today... I'm still fighting my food cravings, pushing down water and trying to keep myself positive.

I can't control everything....

.... but I can control how I react to it.

My Hubby and I went to a class at my gym last weekend. It was a self defense class. The funny thing was, I got more out of the teachers talking... then the actual moves he was showing us. He started out by talking about self control (obviously a huge problem for me and food) and how depression, stress and mood all come from a lack of control. No, not the lack of controlling everything around you... but the lack of controlling yourself and how you react to things. Duh! This made so much sense.

So then my question was, how do you get control of yourself again? How do you train for that?

Obviously its a mind thing. You have to continue to tell yourself ... "I can't control everything, but I can control how I react to it" .  Training is a huge part of this. Being able to physically push your way through a tough workout that you normally would walk away from ....   Being mindful of what your eating ..... Its all part of the training... You can't have a healthy mind without a healthy body, and you can't push your body to be healthy without giving it the perfect fuel.

Today I start my 'controlled' way of life. I will focus on making every bite count. I will drink tons of water. I will take care of my body from here on out. I may not be able to control everything around me.... but I sure as hell can control ME!

The goals in mind....

The only thing that keeps me going is motivation. I have to have a goal in mind in order to stay focused every day. A weight goal just doesn't cut it anymore.... I get to frustrated when I don't see that number on the scale... so I do physical goals. A year ago today I was running the PF Chang Rock N' Roll half marathon. If I tried running today I'd die before reaching my first mile. But over a year ago I would wake up at 5 a.m. just to get in a couple of miles running before Hubby went to work.

I wasn't at my goal weight when I ran the half marathon  (and completed it!!) but I was definitley in better shape then I am now.

So, what is my goal? I have a couple.

* To be in a size 8 pants by summer
* To run the Warrior Dash with my husband in August
* To complete the Hard Ready class with my husband and be 10 lbs lighter!!

I know that I didn't describe any of these very well... but I will later.. promise. As for now... these are my goals that I will keep in my everyday.

I'm off to drink some water.

A New Year.... another me.

Every year I promise myself that this will be the year. The year I drop the last 50, 40 or 30 lbs. The year I run that half marathon, 10K or marathon. The year that I finally prove to myself that I can do anything I put my mind to.

I guess I've done pretty good the last couple of years... maybe I should just keep trying. :)

I am back... at 183 lbs... and ready to get back in shape. I have a lot to work around this time. I am working full time at night and am home LATE. Its been a bad habit to come home, strip the uniform and then chow down before going to bed at midnight. I know better then to do this... but for some reason, it still happens.

My hands and feet are swollen from a lack of water. Seriously, I don't remember the last time I had a glass of water.

I am addicted to sugar again.... an addiction that I know I can break, but have  lacked the ability to lately.

I am stressed and depressed. Two things that go hand in hand in my life. This leads me to eating... a lot.

So, how am I going to change anything this year? Well, first off, I am going to get up and drink a glass of water right now (feel free to join me, I'll wait for you!)...........

That tasted better then I remember! Now I am going to go throw away all the cookies and junk food that is in my kitchen. Don't try to fool yourself... the husband and kids don't need to be eating that crap either..........

Now, I will make sure that I eat something healthy tonight before I go to work. Maybe a protein shake.

I will drink water at work when I can.... and when I come home I will drink more water and then go to bed.

There.... that's a good start. We'll work on it some more tomorrow...........